I thirst for God

I can't say this is really true most days, but right now, right here, today, it definitely is. I fully, well, partially, understand, that I have relatively little to complain about. But right now I am tired. He promises to not give us more than we can bear, but it does seem to be piling up a little, and the joy is lacking. Or maybe it is just the adrenaline is lacking b/c I have been trying to do this on my own strength and under my own power for way too long. Stuff to get ready for other people, the pressure of standing up each week, seems to be catching up to me. Add a sickness, add a couple of ailing cars, and all of a sudden it seems like a lot. Sure we are healthy, have a warm house, food to eat... Maybe I am at least getting a sense of appreciation for some of what those around me are going through, even on a limited basis and why they seem to be struggling and down. How can I help them when I feel like this myself?

"My heart is breaking as I remember how it used to be," Psalm, 42:4...that used to be seems to be quite a while ago now. Where did I go wrong? How did I get to the point that so much of the little I read is for someone else and not for my self? How can I be a leader if it is like that? 43:2, for you God are my only safe haven. I know that in my brain, but do I acknowledge it in my heart? Can I begin to live that way starting right now? Maybe on another level I can at least start with DOF and the words to Lately, it's time to forget about all the things you've been thinking about... There I will go to the alter of God, to God the source of all of my joy. I will praise you with my harp, or at least my 6-string.

We spent $79 million for that?

Yesterday they crashed something the size of a suv into the moon looking for ice. Seems like we have lost our focus. People are dieing around the world, natural disasters, wars, terror, and we're looking for ice. Hmmm. Just yesterday someone took shots at the family of a black pastor in the city, they say it wasn't a hate crime? Really? Then again, is my focus really any different? Guitars, cars, phones, ipods, not quite $79 million worth, but at the same time all around me are kids struggling, suffering, trying to figure out which way is up, trying to figure out how to honor God with their lives and in some cases just trying to get to tomorrow. Maybe the priority change needs to start with me. I'm sure there will still be people crashing big trucks into the moon, but maybe just a little bit of our corner of the world will be just a little bit more focused on the sight unseen instead of on the latest and greatest.

Mass Panic almost erupted

Car show, LIberty Tree Mall, late August. Everyone who showed up knew it might rain, yet when the first few sprinkles hit, the race for the exit was crazy. I'n thinking, a couple sprinkles of rain worse than possibly a fender bender on the way out? I think i'll just sit and watch. No bumps, no bruises, at least that I saw, but it did make me think. What do we value? Where does our treasure lie? What if it did start to rust, would I be able to deal with it? What if it did get bumped up a little, could I cope? I'd like to think I could, but I don't know about those other guys in the parking lot. Jesus, today, teach me to value what you value, and to love what you love.